My Best Friend
by Tarja Holopainen
Summary: Even though she always looked beautiful, she seemed a little done today. I knew she hated those premiere-parties, so I went over to her. Her faked smile turned into a big and honest one as soon as she saw me and not for the first time I asked myself: Does she feel the same as me? [A Demily-Fanfic!]
1. 1: How it began

_September 2009_

The premiere of season five. Something really big, we never thought we would come that far.  
But we've already filmed five episodes, the first one would air tonight. Any moment.  
I let my eyes wander around the room, spotted everyone besides her.  
Why wasn't she here? Those opening nights were nothing without her.  
She and I had the same humour, especially after some glasses of wine.  
I had been excited all day long, curious about which dress she would wear, how her hair would look.  
But I waited for a whole hour before she came.  
Of course everyone started applauding as she stepped inside, she was the main actress, her character was the main character, the character after which the series was named. I was nothing compared to her but for some reason I didn't care. She was the main person for a good reason: her stunning looks.  
And she really did looked stunning tonight.  
She was wearing a black dress, that almost reached to her knees. I swallowed. She had beautiful legs.  
 _*Get a grip, David!_ _You're_ _married. And_ _she's_ _your best friend!*_  
Her hair was done up and her smile was breathtaking as always.  
But there was something strange about her. She looked tired, even sad.  
I walked a bit closer. She looked more pale than usual (not that she was always pale but fact was, I've never seen her tanned) and her eyes looked swollen.  
Something wasn't right.  
Even though she always looked beautiful, even pale and with swollen eyes, she seemed a little done today.  
She smiled as everyone took pictures, greeted everyone and tried her best to look happy. To others she probably seemed happy but she couldn't fool me. She was a good actress but I knew her too well, I knew she hated those premiere-parties, so I went over to her.  
Her faked smile turned into a big and honest one as soon as she saw me and not for the first time I asked myself:  
 _*Does she feel the same as me?*_  
"David!" she called and pulled me into a hug.  
Pictures were taken, pictures on which Emily kissed my cheek.  
I knew that some fans would go crazy after those pictures would go online.  
And Jaime would go crazy too, she would scream at me again, wanting to know if I was sleeping with my co-actress. I would say no but my wife would not believe me again.  
I could understand why she didn't.  
I talked about Emily too often.  
"Hi, Em," I said in reply. "You're here, now the party turned out really nice eventually."  
Her cheeks flushed and I took her hand. I loved it when she looked flustered.  
"Let's get some wine?"

* * *

Two hours, the _Harbingers in a Fountain_ episode and some glasses of wine later, she announced that she would leave.  
She had just returned from the toilet and looked even more done than before. Now her eyes looked reddened.  
"What's wrong?" I asked and pulled her close, caressing her cheek. She was my best friend. I didn't want her to cry. "The airing was a great success, everyone congratulated us to the first episode!"  
"I ... I'm a bit tired, that's all."  
Her answer was whispered and she avoided my eyes.  
"I don't believe you," I responded and pulled her out of the room, down the hall and into another room. I made sure it was empty, before I closed the door.  
"Emily," I said forcefully. "I know you. You're my best friend. What's wrong with you?"  
And then something happened, something I hadn't expected.  
She burst into tears.  
My mouth went open, as Emily just broke together in front of me, her beautiful face buried in her hands.  
I fast forward quickly, taking her into my arms. Leading her shaking body over to the couch in the middle of the room, I caressed her back.  
"Shhh... it's fine, Em. I'm here. You can tell me. What's wrong, tell me."  
I sat down on the couch, pulling her with me. I rested her head on my chest, still caressing her back.  
She sobbed madly. I was shocked, during all those years of spending day after day with her, I had seen her totally pissed off, angry, happy, crying of laughter, PMSing (that was what she had told me, I still didn't think it was an emotion), tired and in love. In love with her fiancé.  
But I had never seen her that sad. So helplessly.  
"Emily," I whispered in shock and she lifted her head.  
The tears had destroyed her make up but she still looked beautiful to me. She would always look beautiful to me ...  
"David, he ... my fiancé -," she stammered, "my ex-fiancé..."  
"Ex?" I whispered. "Oh no, Em ... he broke up?"  
Emily nodded and buried her face in my chest again.  
"He ... he said he needed a break from me ... I've done nothing wrong, David ... I've been the perfect girlfriend, I've ... I've given him everything he wanted ..."  
"Of course you've done nothing wrong!" I raged and suddenly felt burning hate for the other David. I had never really liked him but now he had broken this amazing woman's heart. How could he have done that?  
"I'm scared ... that I ... that he maybe thought that I ..." Emily continued crying in my chest. "That I ... I can't tell you ..."  
"Hey, I'm your best friend," I said gently and she looked at me. "Your best male friend. Hm? Or do you want me to get Michaela?"  
"No," Emily whispered and grabbed my shirt, which wasn't white anymore. Traces of her mascara were on it now. Jaime would so kill me.  
"Tell me." I smiled at her and she blushed again.  
"I'm scared that I'm not good in bed. I had a boyfriend in high school who told me I wasn't. He had been my first one though but ever since then I've been scared that I'm bad ... oh god, why did I tell you? This is so stupid."  
"Yes, it is. Stupid of everyone who told you that you're not good in bed. I'm sure that's not true, I'm sure you're a goddess."  
"Mhh..." Emily smiled a bit. "If you weren't married, I would show you."  
I laughed. "You should head back home. You can't return with a face like that."  
"What's wrong about my face?" she asked, faking to be offended.  
"Everything's right about your face," I replied gently and caressed her cheek. "Hey, I know what to do. I'll go back and tell them you've already left, then I'll pack my stuff and go after you ..."  
"Back with me?"  
"Of course. I don't want you to be alone now."  
Emily smiled.

* * *

Said, done.  
I closed my jacket over the dirty shirt before I went back.  
Michaela was the first to ask me where her friend was.  
"She didn't feel good," I replied and Michaela's face fell immediately.  
"Don't tell me that David really broke up now," she whispered.  
"She's told you already?" I asked and the other actress shook her head.  
"She ... She mentioned that David and her have been fighting over the last weeks but Emily also said that it was because of the wedding preparation. Oh no, what a bastard."  
"She said that he only needed a break," I sighed, "but I know what it means if a guy says he needs a break. I've broken up with that sentence for many times."  
"You're an asshole," Michaela stated but for some reason it sounded gentle. "Will you stay with her tonight?"  
"No, why?" I lied and Michaela grinned.  
"Because, dear David, because I know you. You're head over heels into her _and_ you see her as your best friend. You couldn't leave her alone."  
"Kayla, my wife will kill me if I -"  
"Hm, interesting," Michaela interrupted me. "You haven't denied it. So you _are_ head over heels into her?"  
"What? No! I mean, who wouldn't be, look at her ..."  
Michaela grinned. Shit. I had lost. I was busted.  
"Just give her some comfort," she said and put her hand on my shoulder. "Do what your heart tells you. Do whatever she wants you to do, and if she wants you to stay with her, do it. I hate helping you with that but Em is our best friend. I'd also do everything for her."  
I smiled at my co-worker. "It seems like the character of Angela was invented by you," I said. "You're so alike. And I mean that as a compliment."  
Michaela laughed and hugged me.  
Then I went to Hart and Kathy and told them the same, that Emily had left already and that I would return back home, back to my wife.  
What a lie.  
I drove right to Emily's house, hoping that no one would follow me.  
How lucky I was. No one followed me, no one saw me on my way from the car to her house.  
She opened the door immediately as I rang the doorbell and my heart stopped beating for a few seconds.  
She had completely removed her make up and changed from her black dress into a silky, purple nightgown.  
"Hi," she whispered and slung her arms around me, pulling me inside.  
She closed the door with her leg and smiled at me.  
"Emily, you look stunning," I said with a dry mouth.  
My mind was going crazy, my insides were jumping and an inner voice was screaming at me.  
 _*_ _YOU'RE_ _MARRIED!_ _DON'T_ _DO IT,_ _DON'T_ _DO IT AGAIN!*_  
But there was something else. Another voice, whispering,  
 _*But_ _doesn't_ _Jaime_ _already think_ _you're_ _sleeping with Emily?*_  
I wasn't proud of it but that second voice won. I let myself pull into the bedroom.  
She was my best friend. Of course I was in love with her, madly, but she was still my best friend.  
But then we had reached the bedroom and all of a sudden I was on top of her, she had let herself fall down and pulled me with her.  
I looked down at her, looked into her beautiful eyes.  
And then I captured her beautiful lips, kissed along her perfect jawline, caressed her stunning curves until I reached the edge of her panties, which I took between my fingers and pulled down.  
"Show me, how good you are in bed," I whispered against the spot where her jaw met her throat, before I kissed down her neck, shoulder and collarbone.  
And she did.  
I had never thought I would be making love to my best friend but I did.  
And she was good in bed, way too good.  
Way too good to leave her.


	2. 2: How it continued

**A/N: There are 2 little paragraphs in the chapter which** **don't** **belong** **here.** **I've** **tried** **everything, believe me. I** **can't** **edit** **them away :(**  
 **I** **hope** **you won't be confused, the** **first** **one is in the** **talk** **between** **David and** **Emily** **, the second one is in the talk between** **David** **and Jaime. Enjoy reading and a very happy birthday to** **Emily** **Deschanel! ️ ️ ️**

\- Chapter 2 -

How it continued

 _The next day_

The bed felt different than usual, softer.  
I yawned and turned around, wanting to stroke my wife.  
But she wasn't there.  
And what kind of bedsheets - holy shit!  
I literally jumped out of the bed, not able to keep a cool head.  
I had slept with Emily, _I had slept with Emily!_  
And I had stayed the night. Oh no. Oh no, no, no. This was the worst thing I could imagine right now, after all I had promised myself not to cheat on my wife again. I looked around, trying to spot Emily. But she wasn't here, hopefully I guessed that she was having a shower.  
I immediately hated myself even more. First I cheated on Jaime and then I couldn't even face Emily!  
I got into my pants and dirty shirt from yesterday.  
Even though I regretted every had done, I had to smile.  
Emily ... At least now I knew what I felt for her. I loved her, I loved her madly.  
 _*Then don't leave ...,*_ a voice in my head said but I knew I had to.  
But just as I had closed the zipper of my jeans, she came into the bedroom, wet hair and only a towel wrapped around her body. My heart stopped as she smiled lightly.

"Morning, David."  
"How I wish to hear that every morning," I sighed and walked over to hear, leaning down. I wanted to kiss her but she pushed me away.  
"You should go back to Jaime."  
I stared at her. "Em -"  
"It was a mistake. I needed someone and you were there but I totally ignored the fact you're married. I shouldn't have seduced you."  
"No ... No, Em, it's fine. I shouldn't have let you seduce me. I should have told you I was only here to comfort you but I jumped on you -"  
"We both jumped at each other," Emily sighed. "I had hoped you had left before I was done with the shower."  
"This sounds bad," I whispered. Suddenly I felt strange, my guts felt as if they were clenching. This was it, this was the end of our friendship.  
"Like what?" Emily asked.  
"Like ... Like we could never speak with each other again."  
But Emily shook her head. "David! I couldn't live without you, you said it yourself: you're my best male friend. It happened and we can't change it. But it won't ever happen again and we won't ever talk about it again. Alright?"  
Sounded both good and bad to me.  
"Alright."  
"Will you tell Jaime?" Emily asked carefully.  
Well, I had no idea. Should I? Should I not? I knew I should but something told me that I couldn't.  
"Last time I cheated on her, I told her. I felt it was the right thing to do and I was correct. But this time ... This time I have the feeling that I shouldn't tell her." I looked right into Emily's gorgeous eyes. "We shouldn't tell anyone. Don't tell Michaela, don't tell your sister. Promised?"  
"Promised."  
Silence.  
My eyes wandered down my friend's body and I asked myself how someone could have ever left her. "You're not good in bed, by the way," I said and watched her beautiful face fall.  
"What?"  
"You're so much more." I took her hand and amusedly watched her cheeks blush. "You're a freaking _deity._ You have so much fire in your blood and that left me enchanted. A sex goddess, Emily. That you are."  
"Thank you," Emily whispered and smiled at me. "I really needed that. The sex and the compliment. Also you were great." She winked at me and I chuckled.  
"No need to tell me. I know."  
I longed to kiss her as she let out the throaty laugh I adored but I decided not to.  
 _I_ _t won't ever happen again and we won't ever talk about it again._

I came home, shaking. "Jaime?" I called. And then she came out of the bedroom, carrying our one month old daughter.  
My heart ached.  
"Hi," she said with a smile and my heart ached even more. "How was the party?"  
"Long lasting," I said.

"I know. Michaela called me, telling me you've drunken so much that you fell asleep on the couch."  
I was speechless. "Kayla called you?"  
"Yeah, she said it was better not to wake you up. I agree, since I know you when you've fallen asleep drunk. But tell me, why did you even get drunk?"  
I decided to at least not lie completely. "Emily was totally done. Her fiancé broke up with her."  
"Oh no," mumbled Jaime. "So you got drunk together?"  
"That's what friends are for," I sighed. I felt like a total asshole.  
"And where did Emily sleep?"  
"Kayla brought her home, I guess. I fell asleep pretty early."  
Jaime didn't look satisfied but she also didn't ask on.  
I hated myself. I so hated me and my damn lies.  
"Why did he break up with her?" Jaime asked and her eyes bore into mine. I knew what she was thinking:  
David had found out that his wife to be was sleeping with her co-star.  
"She didn't know herself. He told her he needed a break from her."  
"Wow, that's nasty," Jaime replied and her face really showed concern. "Poor her."  
"She was done. Cried all over me." I revealed my dirty shirt and Jaime laughed.  
"Oh, give it to me. I'll try to get that out."

The days passed and I couldn't stop thinking about Emily. Wondering if she also couldn't stop thinking about me. I thought about calling her but wasn't sure if I should. We didn't call each other ever, every now and then we sent each other text messages. But that didn't feel right to me.  
Thus I simply tried to forget it and waited a few days until the shootings for the text episodes continued. And there she was, beautiful as always or maybe even more beautiful than ever.  
Everyone greeted her, asked her how she was. Of course everyone had heard about her breakup. And she was smiling, she was so strong.  
I walked over to her, it would look suspicious not to. Michaela stared at us, I felt it, as we hugged.  
"Hi," I breathed into her ear. Her body against mine made me go crazy.  
"Hey," she breathed back and I felt a chill run down my spine.  
"How are you?" I asked and we pulled apart, looking deep into her eyes.  
"Better. Way better. Thank you." She smiled at me and my heart tried to jump out of my chest. At least it felt like it.  
But before I could answer, Michaela had grabbed both our arms and pulled us towards her.  
She crossed her arms. "Shoot."  
"What, a bird?" I joked and Emily glared at me.  
"No," our friend said and grinned. "You two. What happened?"  
"I told you, nothing happened. He stayed with me until I fell asleep." Emily said but Michaela shook her head.  
"After you hooked up or what?" Kayla asked on and both Emily and I shook our heads.  
"No!"  
"Oh god, no."  
"Emily cried. I comforted her. She fell asleep on my chest and I didn't want to move away, so I stayed and eventually fell asleep too." _*Please,_ _Michaela_ _, believe us ...*_  
"Ah," our friend just relied. "Well, whatever. Just for the future though, if you land in bed together - tell me. I'm like Angela and you're like Brennan and Booth. It would bless my days."  
Michaela grinned at us and then turned and walked away.  
Emily and I exchanged a look.

 _October_

September ended, October started. And soon I received an invitation to Emily's birthday party. She was celebrating on October 10th, because it was a Saturday, with the intention of celebrating until the morning of the 11th dawned. I was one of the last ones to enter her house, Michaela was already there, of course, and so were her sister, TJ and a few of (probably) Emily's friends whom I didn't know. All in all we were around ten people, of which five didn't drink because they drove.  
Me included.  
At almost midnight we started a countdown to Emily's birthday and as we clinked glasses, I knew that this one would be the only alcoholic drink I'd touch.  
And it was. But sadly Emily hadn't thought the same way about her, she knocked back one drink after the other.  
She laughed, giggled, screamed and sang. All in all she was so drunk around two, that Michaela told everyone that the party was over.  
After Em's friends had left, TJ and I started cleaning everything, while Kayla and Zooey brought Emily to bed.  
"Poor thing," TJ sighed as we put all the glasses into the dishwasher. "Have you ever seen her that drunk? I had a talk with Zooey, she said that David's breakup hurts her more than she shows."  
"He's such an asshole," I said angrily. "Look at her, how could he have done that to her?"  
TJ sighed again and shrugged. "Hey, man, I'll call it a night and you should do the same. See you at the set, okay?"  
We said goodbye and then he left.  
I wanted to drive home too, really. I had put on my jacket already, as Zooey came down.  
"David, wait!"  
I first thought she just wanted to say goodbye, but what she said made my heart skip a few beats.  
"Em is asking for you."  
"W- for me? Are you sure? Not the other David?"  
"I'm sure," Emily's younger sister replied. The corners of her mouth were twitching and I was sure she wanted to laugh out loud. "She needs to talk to you."  
I was frozen. Oh no ...  
"Shall I tell her you've already left?" Zooey asked. "I can tell her, no problem."  
Yes.  
Yes, Zooey, tell your sister that I've already left.  
That's what I had wanted to say, really.  
But what I said was, "No, it's okay. I'll be there soon."

And then I was in her room again.  
Michaela and Zooey had left, left me alone with my drunk friend.  
And horny, so I noticed.  
"I got a birthday wish," she purred and let her fingers crawl up and down my chest.  
"What do you want?" I whispered and she smiled at me in a devious way.  
"You," she answered, her voice so low and filled with lust, it made my body tremble. "You, buried deep inside of me, making me cum over and over, screaming my name over and over ... That's what I want. Can I have that?"  
My hand caressed her cheek, her jawline, my fingers brushed over her lips. She was so beautiful ...  
"Yes, you can have that," I whispered before I leaned down to kiss her.  
And boy, I really fulfilled her birthday wish. Not only once, three full times I made sweet love to her, until she was too exhausted to go on.  
And I did what I had intended to do hours ago; I grabbed my stuff and left.


	3. 3: Some days later

\- Chapter 3 -

 _Some days later_

Emily, Emily, Emily.  
She was on my mind now all day long, the reason I wasn't able to concentrate anymore.  
She only turned more and more beautiful with every time I saw her and the fact that Michaela knew that something had happened between us didn't make anything better. No, let's say she _thought_ she knew that something had happened. We tried to tell her (again) that we had only talked (and cuddled) but Michaela didn't believe us.  
"You're a good actress, honey," I heard her say to Emily after a scene between her and I, "but I'm your best friend. I know it when you want to hide something."  
Busted.  
I turned around and left quickly, since I had to get ready for my scene, that's why I didn't hear what Emily answered. But I was sure she still tried to hide everything.  
And it stayed that way. For the rest of October nothing happened between Emily and me. Nothing at all.

 _November_

Soon it was two months that Emily and I had slept with each other for the first time. And soon it was Thanksgiving.  
Even though I didn't really care about the tradition, I always helped Jaime to throw a big Thanksgiving dinner. She really lived that tradition, with the turkey and the whole decoration. She was raised that way and even wrote invitations to friends. As she asked me to sign those invitations too, I frowned at the names of her so called best friends, who didn't like her for real. They called her things behind her back and disrespected her.  
With a pain in my heart I noticed, that in a different way I was doing the same thing to her.  
But then my eyes fell on the name on the last invitation and my heart almost stopped.  
 _Emily Deschanel._  
"You want to invite Emily!" I called in surprise and Jaime smiled at me.  
"Of course. She's your friend and I want to get her on other thoughts. You told me she's still sad because of David ... why, don't you want her to come?"  
 _*She already did several times ...,*_ I thought and felt the blood shoot into my head, colouring my cheeks red. "Yes, I do. I'll sign."

The week passed quickly and soon it was Thursday. I met Emily on the set, asking her again if she would come tonight.  
"Come tonight?" she answered and smiled at me. "Care to explain how exactly you mean that, David?"  
"Come over. To Jaime's and mine. To have dinner," I stuttered and Emily laughed.  
"I'd love to. Is there a dresscode?"  
"Just look stunning," I answered and thought, _*Not hard,_ _she_ _always does.*_  
"Great, so I'll come naked," she replied with a smile and my mouth went open.  
"I - uh -"  
Fuck. This time the blood was shooting _somewhere else,_ which was definitely not my head.  
She came closer.  
I suddenly realised that we were alone, we were in the styling room alone, since Tanya, the stylist, had just left.  
"Emily..."  
She caressed my chest. Let her fingers crawl down.  
"Have I ever thank you for comforting me?" she whispered into my ear. Her voice sent shivers down my spine and I swallowed. She wouldn't ...  
"No," I croaked. "Emily, we shouldn't do this - I mean, not here ..."  
But she simply turned, walked to the door of the styling room, closed and locked it.  
"Em," I hissed. "People need to get in here!"  
"Not for the next ten minutes. Michaela, Tamara and TJ are doing a scene and everyone will think we're rehearsing our lines."  
"Emily," I tried again, but it was hopeless. She was in front of me again, travelling her hands over my chest.  
"It's wrong," I said.  
"Since when do you care?" Emily asked and I groaned.  
"Emily - I do care! I love my wife and -"  
"You love her but are you in love with her?"  
Her eyes were big as she asked me. It was as if she could look right through me.  
"I ... no ..." I gave up. She was the right woman for me, only her.  
"Close your eyes, David. I will bring you to heaven."  
I did what she wanted me to do, just enjoying her quick fingers opening my pants. Pulling down my boxers.  
Stroking my shaft ...  
And what she did to me afterwards, was beyond words. She was amazing, she was a goddess.  
Her tongue was magic, her lips were heaven. She was too good to be real and I came fast, too fast. She was just too good. I was sure I hadn't even needed ten minutes.  
Afterwards she stood up, hugged and kissed me gently.  
"David ... you can open your eyes," she chuckled and I did. Her eyes were too gorgeous. Her face was too beautiful. She was too perfect. "Wow, Em ..."  
She smiled and kissed me again.  
"I thought you were vegan ...," I mumbled against her lips and she pulled back to look at me.  
"What?"  
"Well ... you just had a piece of meat in your mouth."  
"You're an unbelievable asshole," Emily answered but somehow it sounded loving.  
"Yeah?" I grinned and stroke her hair back. "Emily ..."  
"Hm?"  
"I'm in love with _you_."  
Oh gosh.  
Oh no.  
Oh fuck.  
Had I really said that?  
"I mean ... I ... oh god ..." I knew it was too late.  
Emily didn't say a word. She just caressed my cheek and smiled. Kinda sad. Then she kissed my lips gently. Just for a few seconds, without deepening it.  
"Let's go back. And then I need to go home to change. I'm invited to a dinner party tonight."  
She turned and left, unlocked the room and went out.  
And I stared after her.  
Had I just really said that? Was I insane? Had it been because of the thing she had done to me?  
My heart was racing. I knew I had meant it ...

Later I was helping with preparing the dinner. I was nervous, knowing that I would soon done with both my wife and my ... my what? My affair? My lady-love, my lover? My beloved? Many words for Emily but just one word for Jaime.  
My wife.  
I felt bad, I felt really, really bad.  
But then she was there and I didn't feel bad anymore. I don't know but when she was with me, I felt good. I felt complete.  
She looked stunning, with her hair pinned back and in her purple dress. I looked at her and felt my body react immediately. I wanted her. I needed her ...  
Exchanging promising looks during the dinner just wasn't enough for me, after dessert I would claim her mine.  
"I'll show Emily around," I told my wife, as everyone gathered in the living room to wait for wine, and took my best friend's hand. I pulled her away, upstairs, into our store-room. "No one will look for us here," I whispered against her neck, before I took the big earrings out of her ears. I wanted to nibble and suck her earlobes, I wanted to make her cum so hard.  
I took her with my fingers, sending her over the edge as she had done it with me today. Giving myself to her without pleasing myself, like she had given herself to me.  
I kissed her skin, sucked her flesh, sucking hard enough to leave a blue lovebite.  
I didn't care, she could cover it. I felt her tighten around my fingers, added another finger, drew circles on her clit.  
She let her head fall back, cursed and suddenly my hand was flooded with her juices. She came quietly, just whispering my name. I leaned down and kissed her lips, before she grabbed my hand and locked it dry, tasting her own juices with closed eyes.  
"You're so hot," I whispered, asking myself how I had deserved her. I was a bad human.  
"Did you mean what you said today?" Emily whispered and looked at me. "You love me?"  
"I love you very much," I mumbled, leaning my forehead against hers. "Never doubt that."  
"Let's go downstairs," Emily mumbled. "And I need to cover that hickey... thank you for that, David."  
I grinned.

No one noticed. We had just walked around the house. Emily had covered her hickey and I had gotten rid of the erection that had appeared while pleasuring her.  
No one noticed, not even Jaime.

"It has to stop."  
Those were the words with which she greeted me after the weekend at the set.  
"Why?" I just asked, perplexed. I had just told her that I was in love with her and she wanted to stop?  
"Because you are married," Emily answered. "And because she's a good woman. You shouldn't do that to her. And I shouldn't have helped you doing this to her."  
I said nothing, so Emily just sighed.  
"I know you said you're in love with me but David ... it's wrong. It was wrong all the time."  
 _*I know. Believe me,_ _I_ _know_ _.*_  
But I didn't tell her. I just turned around and walked away, running from the truth, running away from the guilt.

I thought it couldn't cone worse. I really thought that this was the worst thing that could happen - Emily leaving me. No - Emily ending the fling we had. We weren't together, she couldn't leave me. I was sad, I was heartbroken but at the same time I was glad that she had ended it. Now I could finally concentrate on Jaime's and my marriage.  
But then it came even worse.


	4. 4: Christmas eve

\- Chapter 4 -

I came home one day, totally exhausted. I had been to the fitness studio after filming, I needed to get myself on other thoughts. The only thing I could think about was Emily. I really wanted her and I would leave my wife for her, but somehow it seemed as if she didn't want me to. I've told her. I had gone to her, saying, _"_ _Emily_ _. I will leave Jaime. Then we can be_ _together_ _."_  
But Emily had shaken her head. _"No,"_ had her answer been, _"_ _you've_ _cheated_ _on her_ _with_ _me, how can I be sure_ _that_ _you_ _wouldn't_ _cheat on me too?"_  
 _"Because_ _I'd_ _never to that!"_ I had screamed and I had meant it. I loved her, I would never do that. _"I love you."_  
Emily hadn't replied. She had looked at me sadly, then turned around and walked away. And I had let out my anger in the fitness studio.  
Now I just wanted to sleep. Forever. I hated my life ... Emily didn't want me and if she didn't want me, I couldn't leave my wife. Actually I couldn't leave her, even if Emily wanted me - we had a son and a baby daughter!  
Everything was too confusing for me at the moment and right now I just wanted everyone to leave me alone.  
But then I came home, exhausted and ready for bed, just to find a packed bag right next to the door. Shocked, I noticed that it was my bag I used when I went somewhere and even more shocked I noticed, there was my stuff inside.  
"Jaime?" I called. "Honey? Are we going somewhere?"  
With a bitter face she stepped out of the living room. "Almost," she replied, " _you_ are going somewhere."  
"Uhm, why?" My heart fluttered. She knew it, I felt that.  
Jaime sighed and reached into her jeans pocket, pulling out two long earrings with big, silver stones.  
My heart stopped. I knew those earrings. I had taken them out of Emily's ears in the store room.  
"Your new earrings?" I asked weakly and Jaime snorted.  
"They belong to Emily. Your _best friend."_  
"Oh. Right. I guess she took them out when she was in the bathroom -"  
"I found them in the store room upstairs," Jaime interrupted me coldly. "And I guess I know why. You're sleeping with her, aren't you?"  
I looked at her for a long time. And then I decided to tell her the truth. I couldn't lie to her anymore.  
"Yes."  
"Okay," Jaime said calmly. "Thanks for telling me. Now get your stuff and get fucking outta here. I don't want to see you again, you understand?"  
She turned around leaving me back.  
And I did what she wanted me to do, I grabbed my bag and left. Why would I try to make her ask me back? Seriously? I wasn't that selfish. I knew I had deserved it.  
But what I did then was maybe a bit selfish - I drove to Emily.

I expected her to send me away but not Emily. She would never do that. She let me enter immediately, pouring me a glass of wine, listening to what I had to say.  
Emily.  
She apologised for what she had done, cried, said that it was all her fault.  
Emily ...  
I pulled her into my arms, told her that it wasn't her fault, it all was mine. Who had cheated on his wife over and over? Who had lied to his wife again and again?  
"I did, Em. I did. I need to be punished, not you. And the best punishment would be, if you just kicked me out. If you told me, you never want to see me again."  
"But that'd be a lie," Emily whispered, her lips so close to mine, I could easily capture them. "I want you just as much as you want me. I am happy, right now ... so happy ..."  
And so was I.  
I claimed her beautiful lips, enjoying the moan that escaped them. Yes, I would never forgive myself for what I had done to Jaime but now I was with Emily. And that was what I needed at the moment.

 _December_

Advent. I looked forward to spend Christmas with Emily.  
She was a dream, besides the daily sex nothing had changed between us. We were still friends, laughed about everything and nothing, went out with each other ... but now we also kissed whenever we had the chance to. Whenever no one was watching.  
Sure, the tabloids were booming with pictures of us holding hands, _David and Emily -_ _friends_ _or more?_  
We couldn't care less. _"Just friends who feel comfortable with each other,"_ I explained in and interview and Emily added,  
 _"Best friends. So_ _don't_ _think_ _too_ _much_ _about that 'comfortable'. It means nothing."_  
But as advent passed, the rumours about us also stopped.  
There were other, more important stories they needed to follow, and no one even thought of the fact that I didn't bring Jaime to galas anymore.  
Only Emily.  
Of course I knew that, sooner or later, we needed to make it official. We could it continue like that.  
Michaela knew, of course, and so did Emily's sister. Those two were the most important people in her life, she couldn't keep it from them. It had been a surprise for Emily, that both of them had answered her confession, about sleeping with me, with "Yes, I know."  
Right.  
Emily had been so drunk that night of her birthday, she only remembered that I was there.  
But at least her friend and sister were okay with it.

 _Christmas eve_

I gave her something every year. I wasn't good with gifts but this time I had really thought about it hard. It was Emily. We were together now. It needed to be perfect. Special. I knew what I gave Jaime every year, jewellery.  
But Emily was different. She loved jewellery but she preferred buying it herself.  
She loved clothes but hated when other people gave her coupons. She always went shopping alone too.  
She hated when people gave her flowers - dead flowers. "Flower murderer," she had called Hart once, ever since then she always got a vase with earth and living flowers for her birthday. Those she could plant in her garden, which she loved to do. She loved gardening, she said she felt like a normal human while working in the garden.  
What to give to a woman like that?  
I decided to give her a little time. Time for the two of us alone, somewhere else, somewhere romantic.  
So I bought tickets for a musical, Cats, I knew she loved it, and booked rooms in a hotel close. Yes, two rooms, just in case.  
And a card, a beautiful card written by me, telling her why I loved her.  
Christmas could come.

She had a tree in her living room, nothing fancy, not even a real one, just a small tree made of plastic or something.  
And in the evening we sat down on the floor, beneath the tree, ready to exchange gifts.  
"I hate that tradition," she explained to me as I asked her about the tree. "Killing trees just for our joy? Decorating them and throwing them away again after a few days? I don't think that's okay."  
"I've never thought about that," I admitted.  
"Its okay, don't worry. Most people don't, because it's tradition and if something's tradition, people don't think too much about it. Like fish slaughtering in Bavaria, bull fights in Spain. Of course you can't compare those traditions with ours, but I'd still like to make a small difference."  
"Of course." I smiled and got the envelope from the table. "Merry Christmas though."  
Emily laughed. "I almost already opened it today. Give me ..."  
Excited like a child she opened the envelope and gasped.  
"Cats?! In New York!"  
"Broadway," I answered with a smile. "All included, flight, hotel ... But only if you go with me."  
"Are you kidding, of course I'll go there with you!" Emily put the tickets away. "Thank you, David."  
"There's more," I said carefully. "Turn around the card.  
She did, her look slowly fading from happy to ... somewhat sad?  
"Emily?" I asked in shock as my friend, girlfriend I hoped, wiped her eyes.  
"Oh, David," she sighed.  
"That sounds bad," I mumbled and took her hand. "Emily, Love -"  
"No, don't call me Love," Em replied and tore her hand out of mine. "I'm not... I'm not your girlfriend."  
"What? But ... we live together -"  
"Because you don't have a home!" she called.  
"And we sleep with each other!" I was confused.  
"Because we are humans and we have needs!"  
I shook my head. "You sound quite like Dr Temperance Brennan right now."  
"Yeah well, I guess acting her changed me ..."  
"No, don't say that. I love you, Emily. The way you are, act, look, talk -"  
"Yeah. You said so in that one." She held up the card with a bitter face. "But ... Don't get me wrong but I really can't be in a relationship with you."  
"Why?" I called. "I've proven my love for you many times already!"  
"And you are - technically - still married. And the fact that you cheated on her, several times, and never ever told her, doesn't really speak for you in a good way."  
My shoulders fell. She was so, so right ...  
"And -" she continued, "you know me well. You know me as your colleague, as your best friend. As your lover. As your ... whatever I am to you. But you certainly don't know me as your girlfriend." She smiled sadly.  
"I'd like to try," I said weakly but Emily shook her head again.  
"No! I ... I don't love you, David. Not like that."  
Wow.  
I had expected everything but not that.  
My heart felt like someone had ripped it out, my insides felt like someone was gripping them. I felt like falling down a deep, black hole, hearing Emily from far, far away.  
"I thought I did ... but I did kind of use you. To get over David. I still love him. I'll forever love him, the other David."  
"The wrong David," I whispered. Never had a woman made me feel like that. Never had a woman broken my heart.  
"No, he's the right one. You're the wrong David ..." Emily sighed again. "I will gladly accept your invitation to Cats. I hope you booked two rooms."  
"I actually did," I said and tried to collect myself. My heart was still aching but hey - I was an actor, wasn't I? "Just in case."  
And Emily smiled this beautiful, breathtaking smile with which I fell in love first.  
"So how will we continue?" I asked. "Like lovers or ..."  
"Like lovers," Emily said. "Until ... until one of us finds someone better."  
"There is no one better than you," I mumbled.  
"There is," Emily whispered and came closer, cupping my cheeks. "Your wife. Jaime. She's the one you married, did you do it for a reason or didn't you?"  
I couldn't answer first. This was a sensitive spot for me, since I've mostly married Jaime because she had carried my son.  
"Yes," I then said. "I did it for a reason."  
"See?" Emily said happily. "I myself still hope for David to come back to me."  
"If he won't, he's a fool," I replied.  
Emily sniffed. "You think he'll come back ...?"  
I looked at her, spotting tears in her beautiful eyes.  
"I think so. I would come back to you, Emily."  
She sighed happily and hugged me.  
And all of a sudden, I knew what I had to do.  
For her.


End file.
